Holy Shenanigans! More STUFF?

Loosing ones business due to lack of personal control is a sad thing. Ive watched many people do just exactly that. Recently, a friend told me that her only money is in her business account and shes been using it rather freely. The business is losing money. Its going under, because it cant support itself. She has another income, but shes not living within her means.

So, what is she buying with her money? Frivolities, unnecessary trivialities, and bargains. She and I have discussed the bargains she buys. Shes got more STUFF than any ten people NEED, and she still buys because it makes her feel good. The fact of the matter is, she owns a big old building completely full of STUFF she refuses to sell because its got personal value, and its important to her, but the roof is falling in on the building, pigeons are in the building pooping on all of her prized possessions, so she buys more STUFF to solve the problem. Ten dollar swimming pools to keep the rain from dripping onto her antique furniture and collectibles, plastic to cover them. Meanwhile the mice are eating through the upholstery and gnawing through the antique woods.

The reason she does this is it provides her with emotional security. As long as she has STUFF she has security, she thinks. In the mean while, shes working at a job to support her STUFF habit, and loosing her business, because shes wasting the money from her business, instead of using it to build a business that would eventually support her if she didnt have all that STUFF draining her income. She doesnt have security; she has STUFF being ruined by the frivolous manner in which she is spending her money.

To say she is eccentric, actually only gives credence to her behavior. The fact of the manner is, she doesnt have the money to be eccentric. She has STUFF which isnt going to get her anywhere, because her STUFF is not appreciating, its getting ruined. She has friends, but she doesnt listen to them, she has to have her STUFF. Im actually afraid my friend is going to be a lonely old person taking care of her STUFF because she just cant quite realize that she needs to build relationships with people, and let go of her STUFF.

One time, I even ask her about friends and she responded she doesnt have anyone she can trust. I can understand why. Shes worked her entire life to develop a relationship with her STUFF. I consider her a friend, and I have gone the extra mile to make our friendship work. I wonder sometimes at my dedication to the friendship because sometimes I feel like Im working toward a dead end. Particularly when it comes to her business. I worked for nothing at times while I attempted to help her get her business up and running. I felt eventually it would be worth something to her. But, she feels if she buys me stuff shes somehow making it worth my time to help her. Her values are misplaced, and her priorities are dysfunctional.

The saddest thing is, shes filling up her business with her STUFF and when she looses the business, and she will loose her STUFF too. Then what will she do? Her STUFF isnt taken care of, its just stashed there, taking up space and loosing value.

Every time I see her, I want to scream, Holy Shenanigans, MORE STUFF! But, I dont think she would understand the problem EVEN then!!!

Copyright (c) 2005 - Jan Verhoeff

Jan Verhoeff

Somewhere between college and life, Jan began to focus on other people. Her intense need to feel accomplishment in her life drove her to finding a deeper contentment than just existing in the hoot 'n holler of southeastern Colorado. While the beauty of the prairie never escaped her eye for color and beauty, the intensity of her desire kept her moving ever onward.

Summers in Michigan and Tennessee brought her closer to something, but it wasn't until much later, as an adult, mother of four that she began to understand that her need for accomplishment included sharing what she had learned along the way. It also meant that her talent for painting the dream and writing her thoughts had a lot to do with her accomplishments.

She began to focus on actually writing down her thoughts and ideas in journals, revealing her prayer thoughts and life events. Bits of paper became treasures of memory, and a notebook became an outlet of hope and a step of faith. Jan put her thoughts on paper, and began to publish them, where she found opportunity, including various magazines, trade journals, and local publications. Her interests in business and new enterprise became a resounding outlet for her talent, and wisdom for those who sought it. Jan's interest in business development became her trademark, resulting in her first book publication in !992, "Building a Business: From Scratch". This 22 page booklet was published by a local printer in a vertical brochure format, selling more than a thousand copies nation wide. It has resurfaced in college classes as the basis for college term papers, graduate thesis, and research documents for small business courses over the past 13 years.

Seeking more diverse outlets for her talents, Jan most recently has written several short stories published in various books, including: "Stories for the Trail" with the Lamar Writer's Group, "Prickly Points of Life" a combination poetry/short story collection of Jan's work, and "Coffee Clatter" a bound collection of written works originally published in a newsletter published by her daughter, Brenna, as a Sophomore Year Project when she was homeschooling at Buchanan Academy.

More recently her work is available in a newsletter she publishes weekly via email, and various blogs listed on the right side of this page.

You may contact Jan at: janverhoeff@yahoo.com